I don't want to be a father (Fatherhood na scam)

 I don’t want to be a father. Wait let me finish. I don't want to be a father, you have to hear me out. i promise i can explain.

Here is the backstory. Sometime last year, I did a post asking if "having kids is necessary". https://inmyopinionbygb.blogspot.com/2021/02/is-having-kids-necessary.html I took opinion of people before writing and as I expected, no one really had a profound reason for wanting such life altering activity. It was almost like people want kids cause it’s the thing to do. But that’s not even why I don’t want to be a father.

 

You see in that post I tried to sample why people would want kids giving all the cons. I drew an inference that it couldn’t be for investment purpose. Well, except you are meticulously playing your own project Mbappe or Project Serena/Venus.

That being said, kids could literally grow up and want nothing to do with you so it couldn’t be that.

I concluded people want kids cause they want to enjoy the love and admiration of their kids, they want kids for the bond and the memories. Before we go on, I’d like you to know I did a decent amount of research on these things I’m saying at best. I’m not an expert in shit. This might as well be conspiracy theory.

If you are still reading after that disclaimer, it’s clear you probably have nothing better to do with your time haha but I digress. So, let’s say my deductions are close to being right and the major reason people want kids or think they do is for the bond and love then fathers are cheated from this by both nature and societal expectations and it's probably not worth it. Let me explain.

Before I explain, I’d like to say again, y’all should have seen this coming. I did “is having kids necessary”, then I did “USA abortion law” where I was basically saying I’m prochoice.

https://inmyopinionbygb.blogspot.com/2022/06/usa-abortion-law.html Lol you should have guessed this. Okay okay, I digress again.

I have always wondered why they say childbirth is equal to the pain of breaking all the bones in your body at once, but women still want to voluntarily do it multiple times.

Mind you, women having a dozen kids didn’t stop with our grandmother’s generation where one could argue they were being oppressed by the patriarchal system and probably didn’t want to.

All thanks to TikTok I now know against my own will that a lot of relatively exposed and educated ‘modern women’ are still having a ton of kids. It’s most likely voluntary, I think. But if it hurts so much why will anyone want to intentionally do it more than once? Are they crazy?.

Then I read that following childbirth a mother’s brain is flooded with an insane amount of oxytocin (chemical responsible for bonding) and so in turn they love their kids so much and after a while if they have to remember the experience, they’d remember it as mostly beautiful as our brains only take both extremes of an events, finds the average and presents to us when we need to remember it(you can look this up I’m not making stuff up, it’s all scientifically proven). So, our grandmoms were/are basically oxytocin junkies? Haha. You see, this is a more logical explanation, but I still won't totally write off the crazy. Cause women really be crazy. I’m just saying...

The way I see it, men have already been cheated out of the first batch of rewards of having kids. I didn’t read anywhere that fathers get the oxytocin reward too. But to be fair it is logical women get it instead since they carried the child, birth it and then will be made even more miserable by having to be around, and constantly feed a helpless tiny illiterate human that poops a lot and only communicates through screams and high pitch noises. Nature knows they would need every possible ounce of love, bond or whatever they can muster to tolerate it. And I respect that.

Moving away from the being cheated by nature. Fathers are also cheated by society. Basically, a father’s primary duties are provision and discipline. If a kid acts needy or unruly everyone first guesses, they probably grew up without a father figure. So, then a father has to work his butt off to provide or else he is virtually useless to himself, his kids and everyone else. He also has to be back to play bad cop just to keep everybody in check, severing an already fragile bond. At the end the kids will see that the father was just necessary evil and will appreciate the “tough love” by what time it’d be too late to build any meaningful bond with him. Eventually if the only reward he gets from having kids is enjoying their love and admiration and putting joy on their faces has to be lost whilst trying to fulfil these duties then it’s a scam that is rigged against him and I don’t want to have nothing to do with it.

 

Here is a picture of one my twitter followers getting a piggyback ride from his dad.

 Honestly, I don’t know them personally and don’t know what relationship or bond they share off screens. But whatever it is I’m sure is quite cordial. I’m sure majority of you reading this couldn’t even hug your dads let alone hop on his back so this is pretty admirable. Not to say the measurement of good fatherhood is piggyback rides. However, this just proves that perhaps there are ways of delivering your primary duties as a father without being emotionally unavailable and raising kids that feel nothing but resentment for you hence defeating the whole purpose of parenthood for you.

So note to my future wife. “Be ready to play bad cop. I will be reporting the kids to you. I am convinced kids have to be spanked every once in a while, to keep the fear of the Lord in them and so they will be when it’s deserved. It won’t just be by me. Be prepared. Love and pankere!”

In case you missed it, I absolutely want to be a father actually. You guys know that viral video of a baby saying "baby gurl"?. omg! my Ovaries😍. lol I definitely want one, or three. I just don’t want to be a father at the expense of the love and admiration of my kids. No, I want to be their superman and everything. Not big ol’ scary ATM monster man. So if there is a slight chance both things can coexist, I'm taking it. 

Also God, I know you are reading this too abeg don’t take this personally, I’m not challenging you. Kindly disregard what I said before.

I’m just expressing myself sir. I’d want some kids.

Okay this has to be the end. Thanks for reading. See you again when next I have some other conspiracy theory or whatever this is. Bye for now!