My NYSC chronicles (Chapter 5)

Today is day 17. Literally a few days to leave, my whole idea of this scheme has changed. First of all I've seen enough to conclude that Nigeria might never truly unite. There are only a few people here that don't feel attacked or upset or straight up irritated when people of other cultures speak their native languages. This is especially between the Igbos and Yorubas. They're absolutely disgusted to hear a group of people speak their language. Makes no sense to me. 

PAUSE. 

You should be used to this by now

PLAY. 

This is day 19 and camp has been a whole less stressful. You can now avoid tasks. Your platoon mates might hate you but yea you can sit in your room now(not me though, I had to play king for the camp Carnival).

We've gotten so complacent with stuff that me and my boys don't even bath some mornings as long as we bathed a night before, really feeling at home now. All these while has passed in camp and the NYSC year is beginning to feel like the 1 year compulsory military service south Korean men have to perform(I think they do that in Egypt too). 

At this point I have seen enough to draw inferences and that's pretty much what I'd do throughout. I noticed there are serious stereotypes on the northerners. They're really seen in a really condescending light. Even I was asking them (my northern roommates) if they knew the regular artistes we listen to everywhere else. All my enquiry to my Hausa friends were innocent but if I were white they'd be perceived as racist comments so they were deffs not okay. Of a truth these people are more  'isolated' than others and we rely solely on the media and their kinsmen (usually doing very dirty jobs) around us for any means of identity and description, hence why I'd be shocked they're singing Asake's 'Omo Ope' almost word for word.

In retrospect, I think I have spent more money on water than food here, myself and the guys on the bunk to my right kind of share water(and other stuff too, yunno how guys are, first few days to get familiar then we just start borrowing everything), one of us buys a bag and three of us drink, sometimes we all just miscommunicate and buy a bag each and still just drink them together until we realized 3 of us couldn't be finishing 3 bags of water in a day and half. The inference to be drawn here is that some people swore on their ancestors' tombs never to spend their own money on water in camp but instead beg or just take other peoples' water. At some point it felt like we were buying water for the entire room. No one has that type of money anymore.

Speaking of money, these are the last days and we've been given our first monthly allowance.

This comes just before camp carnival which fell on a weekend. I don't need to explain to you how this is a bad combo. Everyone partied hard into the night (but not past 10pm haha). Boys got drunk. Girls fought over men in their hostel. Guys were being excessively loud, probably fueled by Cristiano Ronaldo's (THE GOAT) astounding performance. Soldiers came to calm them down. The drunks tried to fight lol. Again I don't have to tell you it didn't end well. All the fighters and noisy neighbors were packed to the field with their mattresses to sleep. 

Some of these won't be news to you if you follow my Whatsapp status. I'd be posting these when I get home. So every event will be far in the past when you'd be reading this. 

Further observation proves that force is a very effective means of ruling. People actually need to be treated sternly and almost terribly before they'd fall in line. In light of this I now understand warlords, tyrants and authoritarians. If you have a military background or just see how effective force and fear is you'd always want to implement it, unfortunately it's not perfect and gives too much 'absolute power' to the 'big boss' which I hear corrupts absolutely. But boyy do people do things at the right time.

So far I didn't make too many friends cause I'm keeping to myself half the time. I have but a few close friends here. In fact asides my roommates I have like just 2 people I have had more than a 10 minutes convo with repeatedly(a guy and a girl). However, I have become famous since coming third in the Mr Macho competition

so I necessarily have to relate with a lot of people. This one morning I came out for devotion and all that by 4:30 am. I shook the hands of almost 30 people (mostly guys who are mostly named, jiggy, bro, nwanne, chief or chairman) before I got back to my hostel by 8am. nahh, that was the day I opened my sanitizer, cause blood of Jesus.

If I may double back to my northerners, another stereotype is that these people are devote Muslims but these my boys are mad womanizers that also drink, they don't miss their prayers quite alright but lol I didn't think this of them, I know I can't really generalize based off 3 guys but if it wasn't what they did before at home they'd probably not start now.

I also had a couple nights out with my roommates. We were getting broke days ago and had vowed to drink all the garri everyone of us brought(three of us really), whilst we were drawing out elaborate garri plans, they paid us allowance and ermm, garri isn't for young money millionaires so we chose to drink alcohol a few times.

This one time I had gone to eat noodles at the camp market, saw one of my roommate's Whatsapp status, turned out he was close by in a bar. I finished my food and went to join him my guy was drinking black bullet so I ordered for it too, thinking it was energy drink cause I didn't want to do too much, turns out this drink is of the devil. I took the first sip out of my second can and immediately knew it wasn't just "energy" anymore

I frantically started checking the can for the alcohol percentage(as anyone would do when alcohol starts hitting the spot), it read 18% but even Jesus knows (since apparently he knows good booze and even makes them) that that shit was at least 40%, well I was knee deep, too late to turn back. 

We got to the room and it was mayhem, I don't think I called attendance that night, unfortunately my drinking partner is the deputy room governor so e don be.

He performed a few more tricks during the night, including the show stopper act (throwing up). Me I was knocked out, didn't know anything till I was woken up in the morning to play the football match we had agreed to play. Obviously it was a Sunday morning, I think as a punishment form missing every possible avenue to go to church I was made to hurt my leg, I have been walking around with a limp now but it was fun while it lasted.

Going by my consistency or lack thereof I'd probably not write anything till I'm out of here. But before I go if  you won't take any of my 'inferences' seriously please take this one. Black bullet isn't an energy drink and it's definitely not just 18% alcohol either. Thanks.