MY NYSC (Final Chapter)

This is day infinity. I left camp over a week ago. Still didn't post anything cause I've been too busy sleeping, catching my breathe and getting readjusted to society. I just deeped it that this whole series is lowkey just a diary. A  grown man like me has been keeping a diary for weeks and been calling it 'chronicles'. Not very manly. I could have as well started each chapter with "hello diary". You all have been reading a grown man's diary?. What does that say of your characters?. pfft I'm so disappointed. haha.

Anyway the final days on the orientation camp weren't so choked up and I even stayed almost a full day after camp ended to see the city. I didn't go anywhere fancy like Warri or Asaba (which I hear are big cities, however they were even farther away from Lagos). I was around Umunede, best description of this place is one of  those small towns in Hollywood movies that get their livelihood from travelers because a superhighway cuts through it.

I didn't see any bank from Issele-uku (where the camp is) to Umunede Ika South, and even Ika north-east (where I visited). As you may think this makes POS a logical and viable business. Every building has a POS stand in front of it around that end. 

I thought I was better off seeing the rural areas as a city boy. Cause I'm 150% sure there's nothing in Asaba that's worthy of lacing the shoes of the likes of Banana Island,Victoria Island and Ikoyi. I was more amused by the number of abandoned filling stations in the area. I counted about 10 and wondered why

before my attention got turned to an 'underground' (not underground like a subway but it was beneath the ground level of the road, however you could see some part of the railway cut beneath the road and if a train were to pass you'd see it for a while too before it disappears under the road fully again.) railway which they said runs to Warri, then I was even further mesmerized my palm trees and their sheer numbers (the bike man explained it like it's Bitcoin, how people buy it cheap and sell high and 'cashout').

I also saw a lot of bush burning. Mr. Tom had mentioned this alongside bush farrowing, mix cultivation, crop rotation etc.. as means of keeping soil healthy, in junior secondary school agricultural science, it was nice to see. 

My wandering eyes saw even more women on motorcycles. At this point even young ladies.

It was so funny that these people actually leave in a totally different reality than myself. The real killer were the men overtaking my bike on their own bikes with big kegs of what I think is palm wine and then an animal they just caught. Lol I began to feel like David Attenborough as I thought to myself 'there goes a young man on his Vespa, he just killed a small antelope (yes some were actually carrying Antelopes). In the wild it's eat or be eaten. As the sun rises he returns to his kinsmen but not empty handed, they feast on this wild beast knowing not where their next meal will come from. But now they laugh, drink and leave that to mother nature to figure out as they live off the land'. Haha I think I nailed that one. 

                      

Imagine passing on these sites just to see cities that are really just wannabe VIs? Lol I think not. As I got to Ika north east I began to see some development, more than 10 people on the road, malls, an event center the bike man said charges 1M per event(he wasn't very pleased with the price I could tell), beautiful houses and even a functional traffic light.

Whoosh go Delta!! 😂. Okay I need to stop my subtle condescending comments, but growing up in Lagos you really think everywhere else is a village and for most of my stay I was proved right. I really wish I stayed a bit longer and explored a little more but oh well.

One of my biggest regrets is not eating that Igbo delicacy "Abacha", it was sold in camp market I saw it severally on my way to eat probably Indomie, but I was apprehensive I guess, what if I didn't like it?. In fact I didn't even try any new food at all which is unlike me. But I could always get Abacha in Lagos I don't just know if it'd be of the same quality.

Away from my regrets, I'm not sure if I mentioned this in previous chapters but it turns out the pidgin English comedians portray to us in almost every joke as Warri pidgin is a bit exaggerated, sure camp wasn't in Warri  and I didn't visit Warri but I was close enough to have had few people from the area around and speaking the way comedians claim they do. I mean they do speak a lot of pidgin, just never heard 'Warri no dey carry last' or 'shuuu' so so disappointed.

 However, people actually spoke quite differently, for one I heard people call 'nylon' 'cellophane'(pronounced cellophine) I laughed so hard cause the only 2 friends I made in camp actually did say that. It just really emphasized to me that we really lived in different realities cause wtf is cellophane?. They were equally surprised that it was funny to me because I mean its just a normal thing they'd say too. Social media really has somewhat shrunk the world and made us think we all are experiencing the exact same thing, I know cellophane isn't that deep for me to be going all Socrates on you like this but it is what it is, we should assume we know people and their experiences less, cause I cannot in a billion years imagine a Lagos girl buying a motorcycle, but I saw pretty ladies with nice braids done and in nice gowns riding motorcycles and it was normal in that reality, we'd all go to Twitter or Facebook and argue about a topic and if that lady on a motorcycle said some other normal stuff which is alien to others they'd start shouting ' cold zobo' or 'cap' or something like they have the slightest incline of the things that are normal in some places. My friend that served in Oyo last year said the students called him 'massa' apparently that's normal. lol. These aren't even good examples, but I digress. I also heard slangs like 'ah bobby' (apparently used in the stead of bro or guy I guess).

I failed to mention that I relocated to fast, overpopulated Lagos cause I don't want to be teaching kids in some rural area school for one year and then snap back to reality after 365 days that I have a life far away to sort out. Still haven't gotten a place to work at the moment. Let's see what the government has for me. 

I travelled back to Lagos during the day. So I could enjoy the view this time around. It's beautiful, just vast untouched jungles,

then some rock formations very close to Ore,

at some point around the rock formations and quarries and burrow pit

there was this area were the sand was really shiny and reflecting the sun a lot, almost like glass, I don't know what it was but I know its not just sand(I hope some geologist reads this and gives me and answer). If you know me you'd now wildlife fascinates me. (Nigeria is really beautiful and has a lot of potential in the tourism and wildlife conservation sector, but you know how it goes..). Also vast spaces also tickles my mind, be it water or land or even very large trees or buildings, basically anything that reminds me how large the world really is and how tiny I am in this cosmic play.

I didn't feel small a lot when I got back to Lagos though. I usually used to get apprehensive when I saw clusters of rough looking boys cause you literally could be minutes away from a robbery or extortion, especially in that Bariga axis. Since I came back however I've been weirdly confident feeling like some retired navy seal from a Hollywood movie that just want to be left alone but also wants to fuck people up I see street boys (less than 3 haha) walk in my direction and I'm just ready to goo in my mind I'm like 'I wish a nigga would, I wish a nigga would test me and catch these hands whoooa'. lol it didn't take long before that wore off anyway and now I'm back to being extorted again, why?, that's a story for another day.  

Few days after getting to Lagos I went to submit my documents to complete the relocation process at the NYSC secretariat Surulere Lagos. I got there by 2/2:30 and the office where We'd 'get' (we actually bought them. We bought one page photocopied document for #100)the forms from said we should leave because they've closed (very rudely too). I was shocked. Who closes by 2:30 on a Monday?. I was attended to, people that came few minutes after me weren't so lucky. Now we wait.

This will be the end of this series. However, I do not think I'm done. I surely will get more things to talk about when I continue the service for 11 more months. 

In summary I think the scheme achieved its goal. I saw the country more. I felt a deeper sense of connection to the country (after singing the national anthem a billion times) as an entity for moment. Got more disciplined though I'm back to my old ways now(old dogs don't learn new tricks, I'm set in my ways people). Etc etc.. I didn't enjoy the schedule and I how it was generally choked and unnegotiable for the greater part. But I guess that's how real life is, you'd have to make choices that you hate and compromise more often than not if you're to live a reasonable adult life. So in the end I don't think the NYSC is a total waste of time. I'd totally not want that military training or anything close to it again, I really do not recommend but I think its an alright initiative and maybe hasn't outlived its purpose. In my opinion the NYSC passed in all its objective but the most important one (uniting people from different areas of the country) but even at that for me and some others that were probably not raised in deep tribalism and to despise other peoples cultures, it was fun getting to see different cultures up-close, for some others they were disgusted but I guess that's why it lasts a year, a year should be enough time to build love in a normal person. If your blind hatred and prejudice about other people's cultures doesn't change after a year of living with and around them then maybe you're the problem and not the scheme.

In conclusion I want to thank everyone that read all the chapters and followed through this far, the ones that left random comments in the comment section and in my DMs telling me what captivating writer I  am, I love you all. I'm also forever grateful to God for this gift. Y'all will read some really epic stuff I'd right one day soon on a bigger stage. Till then. Thank you for supporting.